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Alrighty kids...I'm back, been busy so I haven't had time to come "escape" from reality. I really am glad Christmas is over, I hate being a Scrooge, but I really wasn't in the mood for Christmas this year. But, it's over and everyone on my list got a gift, a very personalized one, some got theirs later then others. Well I have lots of praises besides the joy I am getting from the after Christmas sales, jk. I got my grades today and my GPA is way up so I am able to get a special scholarship which is needed greatly and I am going to Brazil this coming June for a missions trip with my church! I am excited, I wish it were already June...but patience.
I can't believe tomorrow is the last day of 2002, that's craziness, time is getting away from me. I have to say that this hasn't been the best year of my life comparitively, but I really think some of it is my own fault. Another praise is that I figured out that I need to change a lot of stuff so my new years resolution is to do it! I can only change by getting to know God better. I want more joy in living and to be more passionate about living each day. I hate being lazy, but I'm so good at it. I wanna be the "one girl revolution" (superchick) of my school...ok I am listening to that song, that's really the only reason I said that. They are a fun band with awesome lyrics. OK well....happy new year y'all...hold out for your ideals but keep it real.

 
Hey y'all....a lot is on my mind and I'll try to put as much of it on here, just to let some of the steam off
first check out this website:
www.thekristo.com
Also a business up front, party out back "shout-out" to my fellow blogger and hometowner Dan B. Please e-mail me how to add comments, that way all the world can tell me what they are thinking on this here lil blog. you have my addy.
OK I will drip more sarcasm later!

 
wow...home again...feels like I was just here. So...I don't have much to write...very thankful that I am finished this semester and I am home. I got home without any tickets...had a close call, but yeah:) So, right now I am chilling with the parents and listening to Sarah and Natalie's CD "Night Watches" it's very good stuff. I am amazed at the talents God gives people and then how people can use those in either the right or wrong way. Sarah and Natalie definately have used their God-given talents for Him. I need to go read Isaiah....more later

 
Almost finished finals!!!
I aced most of my finals so far, except one...but that's OK, I have my last one tomorrow and then here I come home!! Feels like I was just there....I am a lil down on going home because the weather is so nice here and yeah at home there are just issues, BUT praise God He is so faithful. I'm still reading through Isaiah and I've included parts of chapter 43. God is good to me, just like He was to Isreal, He's blessed me even today with giving oppurtunites to do something I love--photography for my friends' CD. In one way that seems kind of lame, but God does grant us the desires of our hearts if we are being faithful to Him. He knows I've been trying to be obedient and He's blessed that. So, I am excited...my first photo shoot and getting pix I've taken in a CD jacket, not to mention that the CD is going to be awesome! But, if anyone wants me to take pictures for them or of them, contact me and I'll pencil you in...just kidding...enough of my pride...

5"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west 6and from north and south. I will bring my sons and daughters back to Israel from the distant corners of the earth. 7All who claim me as their God will come, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them."
8Bring out the people who have eyes but are blind, who have ears but are deaf. 9Gather the nations together! Which of their idols has ever foretold such things? Can any of them predict something even a single day in advance? Where are the witnesses of such predictions? Who can verify that they spoke the truth?
10"But you are my witnesses, O Israel!" says the LORD. "And you are my servant. You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God; there never has been and never will be. 11I am the LORD, and there is no other Savior. 12First I predicted your deliverance; I declared what I would do, and then I did it--I saved you. No foreign god has ever done this before. You are witnesses that I am the only God," says the LORD. 13"From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can oppose what I do. No one can reverse my actions."
and here's the best part
25"I--yes, I alone--am the one who blots out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.
that's so cool

 
Hey y'all (sorry that's my WV comin' out;))! Anyway it's a great day to procrastinate...especially since exams start tomorrow. Well, I found a really great passage in the Bible today...here's a lil excerp of Isaiah 42 "The LORDs Chosen Servant"

1"Look at my servant, whom I strengthen. He is my chosen one, and I am pleased with him. I have put my Spirit upon him. He will reveal justice to the nations. 2He will be gentle--he will not shout or raise his voice in public. 3He will not crush those who are weak or quench the smallest hope. He will bring full justice to all who have been wronged. 4He will not stop until truth and righteousness prevail throughout the earth. Even distant lands beyond the sea will wait for his instruction."
5God, the LORD, created the heavens and stretched them out. He created the earth and everything in it. He gives breath and life to everyone in all the world. And it is he who says, 6"I, the LORD, have called you to demonstrate my righteousness. I will guard and support you, for I have given you to my people as the personal confirmation of my covenant with them. And you will be a light to guide all nations to me. 7You will open the eyes of the blind and free the captives from prison. You will release those who sit in dark dungeons.
8"I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not give my glory to anyone else. I will not share my praise with carved idols. 9Everything I prophesied has come true, and now I will prophesy again. I will tell you the future before it happens."


"A Song of Praise to the LORD"
10
Sing a new song to the LORD!
Sing his praises from the ends of the earth!
Sing, all you who sail the seas,
all you who live in distant coastlands.
11
Join in the chorus, you desert towns;
let the villages of Kedar rejoice!
Let the people of Sela sing for joy;
shout praises from the mountaintops!
12
Let the coastlands glorify the LORD;
let them sing his praise.
13
The LORD will march forth like a mighty man;
he will come out like a warrior, full of fury.
He will shout his thundering battle cry,
and he will crush all his enemies.
14
He will say, "I have long been silent;
yes, I have restrained myself.
But now I will give full vent to my fury;
I will gasp and pant like a woman giving birth.
15
I will level the mountains and hills
and bring a blight on all their greenery.
I will turn the rivers into dry land
and will dry up all the pools.
16
I will lead blind Israel down a new path,
guiding them along an unfamiliar way.
I will make the darkness bright before them
and smooth out the road ahead of them.
Yes, I will indeed do these things;
I will not forsake them.
17
But those who trust in idols,
calling them their gods--
they will be turned away in shame.

That encouraged me and got me in the Christmas spirit...I hope it encourages you!

 
Monday found me on my knees again
Breathing You in
To blur the lines that mark where I begin
And where You end
No use in trying to pretend
Come take me again
'Cause rumor has it I'm not who I've been
Come define me

What can we do
If the rumors are true?

I turn everything over
I turn myself in
I turn everything over
I turn myself in
There's nothing left for me to defend
I turn everything over
I turn myself in, yeah

The evidence convicts the hollow men
After looking inside
To my dismay I find I'm just one of them
'Cause I'm an already but not yet
resurrected fallen man
Come break this limbo
And I know You know just who I've been
Come define me

Rumor has it You love me
Rumor has it the world spins upside down
Rumor has my only hope is You
And the rumors are true
I turn everything over

That's a song by Switchfoot and it really explains my day today. Mondays always seem like a kick in the head to me, especially today. So many things happen, some good, some bad, and in different contexts the good could be bad and the bad could be bad, ya know. So, it's a good balance of things, but it's not the balance I want, but I need that real balance, cause life is not always perfect. I keep remembering "All things work together for good to them that love the Lord", that's a paraphase of a verse in Psalms. I took a nap today, which is something I do when I am feeling overwhelmed, so that helped and I am thinking more clearly now. Studying hard for finals...the countdown is 5 finals, 4 days, 2 more classes and then around 15 days of no school! But that means Christmas shopping....ba humbug....not really, but I'm not feeling very "Christmassy" and that's OK because I celebrate Christ's birth everyday. I think I need to celebrate a little more today. I'm reading through Isaiah for my quiet time and it's an interesting book, lots of references to Christ, the Messiah, so I get the Christmas story from the words of a prophet. Alright that's it for now...be cheery!

 
OK, so I skipped the Christmas Banquet and a million people asked me why, (cause everyone is going because it's free this year to dorm students), but I just "I don't want to go" which is true, but that's like the blanket answer for many deeper things...like I can relate to this song by Supertones, it's called "Wilderness"

The rain falls on the righteous and the wicked
Mine is not to reason why this is
In this I rest in this I find my refuge
That my thoughts and ways are not His
I spend my life on looking up the answers
It's rare that I can't find a reason why
But reasons fail at children without mothers
His plan is more than I can know

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things taht seem
important to us
Do you really wanna know
Or are you a little scared
You're afraid that God is not exactly what you'd have
Him be
What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything's true
I'm somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

I'm not one who always trusts their feelings
I don't believe in what you'd call blind faith
But faith that you can do all that you promised
And you said it all works for good
It's safe to say I don't see the big picture
I can't see the forest for the trees
And if five hundred lives
Were mine to get to know
You all could be spent on ust this

God do you really understand what it's like to be a man
Have You ever felt the weight of loving all the
things you Hate
Have You struggled have You worried
How can You sympathize

I have spoken much too soon put my hand over
my mouth
I can't contend with You
Your ways are so much higher
And we pass through the fire that Christ endured
before us
When You were in the wilderness

I know a lot of what I post is songs or poems or something, so that's unoriginal, but that's what I am relating to now...I am too lazy to come up with my own orginality at times. Be safe everyone.

 
Man...God is good...like He puts e-mails in my in-box for a reason...I mean, these e-mails aren't to me personally, but they speak to me personally. That's cool. This one from my friend Laura in China and it is where I am....Thanx Laura, you are in my prayers.
I have had my focus redirected. I have a group that I meet with now
and today Dad really hit me hard with some stuff. You know, we are
all like a clay pot. Some of us look beautiful. We can sit on the
shelf and everyone will say that we are wonderful. Some of us have
cracks in us and we sit on the floor. No one notices us or they say
that we should fix our cracks so that we can be beautiful too. Then
there are others who have so many cracks we are only dust. We lay on
the floor and people never even look at us. We are so broken they
think we are useless. But Dad doesn't see things the way we see
them. He like the pots that are only dust. Why? Well, think of it
this way. In each pot you put water. The beautiful pots hold all
their water and do not leak even a drop. People can not see the water
because it is inside the pot. The broken pots can hold some water but
some leaks out. The more cracks you have the more comes out and the
more people can see. And then there are the pots that are only dust.
They keep no water. It all comes out and the only thing people see is
the water. That is the way it is with Dad. We are the pots, our
weaknesses are the cracks, and He is the water. The more we allow him
to break us and take away ourselves the more people can see him. And
that is why we are here. Not so that people can admire us and praise
us but so that they can admire His beautiful water and praise HIm. He
must flow through us to quench their thirst. Understand? I hope this
makes sense.

Praise to God for working my weaknesses into His ultimate good...

 
Hey it has been awhile kids! But I have been busy. I just want to post this poem because it really explains what I am going through right now...this is transparent of me. Enjoy!
WAIT
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly,
God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
"Child, you must wait."
"Wait, you say, wait," my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened, or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance and YOU tell me WAIT?
I'm needing a 'Yes', a go-ahead sign.,
Or even a 'No' to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again,
"You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and
Grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting, for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun,
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be,
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the
depth of My love
for each saint;
You'd not know the
power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to
see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to
trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know
the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see;
You would never
experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You would know that I give and save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart,
The glow of My comfort, late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.
You never would know, should your pain quickly flee
What it means that
'My grace is sufficient for thee!'
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight could come true,
But oh the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get ot know Me.
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late:
My most precious answer of all is still: WAIT."

author unknown

 
This song has been going through my head all day, so I tracked down the lyrics so I could sing the right words instead of humming...It's called "Jury Duty" and is by the Supertones. I'm not having a bad day, it just reminded me to have a better day.
5 am on Tuesday
why am I up so early
drive out to Santa Ana 'cause I've got jury duty
no breakfast short tempered
and I cut my head shaving
ten miles out I hit traffic
some days just aren't worth saving

You know I haven't had the best of days
But I want to stop and thank You anyway

At the courthouse I waited
And waited then I waited
At lunchtime my car stalled out
I couldn't get it started
Had a book by C.S. Lewis
I finished the last page and
Slept on my desk for three hours
Just like my high school days

Cuz every single moment whether sleeping or awake
Is your creation
And what you've made is good
I don't always thank you for the rough days and
the hard times in my life
Even though I should

Got home and decided I'd be in a bad mood
My shy and quiet wife said she didn't like my attitude
Got a call from my mother
Forgot my sister's birthday
I'm a lousy older brother safe to say I've had a bad day

Be thankful even for the snow storms, cold sores, icky chickin...or whatever!

 
Hey everyone! Well I realize that I don’t have a lil guest book or anything for y’all to rant what you’re thinking, so if someone wants to tell me how to put one on, e-mail me at saturnsring@hotmail.com and put something in the subject line about blog or blogger so I can tell that you aren't spam. Yeah, if anyone else wants to comment to something I've written, e-mail me at that e-mail address. Well, last night was one of the reasons I missed being at school during break. Liz, from across the hall, came over and kept us up to 1am talking about random things, it was so funny. The following is a list of things we talked about:
* movies that we have regret seeing (for me and Kim it was "The General's Daughter" and for Liz, "Goldmember")
* Liz doesn't like movies about torturing, killing, or shaving people...yes SHAVING...i dunno
* everyone is carrying around like 7 pounds of poop in them and 17 pounds of ear wax in their heads...according to Liz
* why menthol patches are so great
* girl horror stories...yeah you know what I mean
* The show "Jackass"...which I have never seen but seem to be missing out on
* various Disney shows that we think are stupid

Ok, well there were more, but I don't remember because I was so delirously tired...
More wonderful stuff later...

 
well hello everyone!!!
I am back to school....is it almost the weekend? Just kidding..I am happy to be back cause I get to turn in all the papers I wrote over breaks and get the A's I deserve...very self assured, aren't I? Why shouldn't I be? I worked hard. OK OK, nuff of that. Like I said I am back to school and it's fun to hang out and just chill and be around people. I felt so isolated at home with just 4 people in the house. I like living in a dorm with like 100 girls....always someone to talk to...

I wanna put a tribute out to those special people Heather, Jeremy, Travis and I were looking for on Friday night...you know who you are! Keep
Peace Love and Mullets
the mullet the sweet hair style
1\4 inches in the front
in the back a quarter mile
I remember back in the day when the mullet was so fine
I'd be cruisin downtown with my mississippi grape vine
cruisin downtown in my red camaro
windows down and striper on the stereo
I'm pushin 85 and I am ready to torch
I've got no awning but a lot of backporch
My homies in the hood think that I can't play ball
all because of this nasty kentuky waterfall
so I pused em around with lots of class
and then I turned around and I kicked em in the(head)
the mullet and I am walkin down the street
listenin to petra as I step to the beat
its the mullet and I am gettin' all these stares
Ive got no worries and Ive got no cares
I am 1090 for life dude it aint wack
business up front party out back
a very special young man named mike wrote that...chose USA mike!!!

right...well I'll have more interest junk later...as i get more stressed...hopefully not!!
Psalm 27...have no fear...

 
ok....My last day home...time to go back to school tomorrow...hopefully...
I am actually looking forward to school...going back to the bubble....don't know why
maybe because I am ready to finish the semester and be around people who actually know and care about me, not to say people at home don't care about me, but there are always people around and I actually miss my roomie Kim who is always around to chill with. Even though my mom is home a lot, she's not as fun. Also I have a bed at school, right now granny and auntie have taken mine.
the question is....what does this poem mean to you?
I appreciate all comments!
Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love cannot fill the thickened lung with breath, Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone; Yet many a man is making friends with death Even as I speak, for lack of love alone. It well may be that in a difficult hour, Pinned down by pain and moaning for release, Or nagged by want past resolution's power I might be driven to sell your love for peace Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would.
-Millay

Hmmmm.....I am still pondering it.......
I wish people would just "wipe themselves and move on" that is a direct Tony Campolo quote.

 
Happy Thanksgiving! I'm at my Grandparents now and got to see all of that family with the exception of one cousin who shall remain nameless...since we've disowned him now. It was nice to hang out with some younger people and watch "Changing Rooms" the Brit version of "Trading Spaces"....good bonding time. I also made a really cool power point presentation for my School Violence project. Things I am thankful for:
* God's unchanging goodness, despite my feeling of chemical imbalance (a.k.a. I feel out of it)
* good food
* My family all getting along and no fights
* I am not sick, unlike my cousin Shannon...pray for the poor girl
* I don't have to work or go shopping tomorrow---that alone is a relief!
Yeah....well if anyone reads this--Drop me a line! Just a small one!

 
Hello all of you wonderful people who are reading this!
Christmas is in exactly one month...but even better Thanksgiving is in 2 days! Things I am thankful for:
* Enjoying a situation I do not normally enjoy--getting my teeth cleaned (it wasn't fun, but I had a good attitude which made it worth while)
* Listening to a good song by a band that I thought was just kind of obnoxious--take time to listen to "Silence" by Blindside--I'm hooked
* Having the internet and phone to stay in contact with my friends from everywhere--where would I be without e-mail?
* Vegging
* Knowing God is in control and will help me with all my homework this week!
* Google! For real this world wide web is a big place without a lil help
* Silence........
They won't see
The fire you have lit inside of me
They look up to the stars
And wonder where you might be
They look up without realizing
That they're standing right there in the palm of your hand
I can't explain or understand
I just love You

It's common knowledge
That you've been dead for a while
It's well known that the cross is only a burden
With pains and trials
But then again how come my shoes are so light
How come I can walk for miles
And still just love You

So I think I'll stay
Caught up in a silent prayer
I believe in silence
Our hearts speak the same word
So why don't we just walk along
The shoreline with a silent song
Cause I believe in Silence
Our hearts speak the same word

We have to prove
That our love is real over and over again
But let them think what they want
I know it will never end
Because I know where it began
And my heart still heart still pounds twice as fast
Whenever you walk by
Cause I still love you

So I think I'll stay...

Well if anyone reads this, can you please leave a message on how I can make this more interesting and add some fun things like pix, and links...that would be beautiful of you!

 
ok...home....made it the first day....just chilling...this is boring, but here is a song that i was thinking about last night, it's by one of my favorite bands Switchfoot
There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
But it's not me
It's You
Sometimes ignorance rings true
But hope is not in what I know
Not in me
It's in You
It's all I know
I find peace when I'm confused
I find hope when I'm let down
Not in me
But in You
I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know
Ok well maybe I'll explain that later. Ponder these things

 
hi people! welcome to "the escape to reality". It's more of an escape for me then anyone else. Although i am in college and what people consider the "real world" it's not all so real, especially since it's a small lil Christian school. I love my school, but at times it's very easy to lose sight of what i'm there for. I don't feel like going into all of it now, but as I continue journaling in here, it'll make sense. I'm home now and very excited to veg and hang out with family. Also I'm planning to take a day to fast and pray and seek God about stuff. If anyone has any good passages for me to read that you think would help, please post them. Hopefully this will get more exciting as time goes on.

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